1 Week Down

Just over a week ago I landed back in Blighty after spending 3 weeks in Spain. The reason I was in Spain – or Valladolid which is an hour from Madrid to be more precise – was for a graduate induction into a global technology company.

The process I went through to get this job stinks of all the usual graduate recruitment processes. There was an online form, an assessment day, three final interviews and a lengthy wait before I found out.

They never tell you this at university, do they? They tell you to get your coursework started early to minimise stress and to volunteer so you can virtue signal to others. However, pontificating professors fail to tell you that life is about to get 100 times harder before it gets easier when you finally down tools and finish your studies. Perhaps by refraining from revealing the cold, hard truth they are actually being nice. Ignorance is bliss so they say.

Maybe a few lucky grads will get plucked by top firms from top universities without having to go through the hellish nightmare that is online forms and standardised testing.

Certainly, I was not one of them. Metaphorically speaking, I had to go around waving my arms like I was standing on a burning beach on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

My advice to job hunters everywhere is to network. Network like your mumma showed ya. Network like you’re a goddam wireless LAN. Network ’till the cows come home because they will.

I guarantee that you’ll have more fun doing it than the thankless vacuum that is online applications. I can’t promise that you won’t have to do them, but networking may guarantee that somebody, as in a real life human, actually reads them. Promise.

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